Routledge – 2014 – 244 pages
For over a decade Rekindling Desire has helped to restore and restructure sexuality in thousands of lives. This expanded edition continues the exploration of inhibited sexual desire and no-sex relationships by respected therapist Barry McCarthy, who brings decades of knowledge and the expertise that comes from having treated almost 3,000 couples for sexual problems. Contained within are suggested strategies and exercises that help develop communication and sexual skills, as well as interesting case studies that open the doors to couples’ sexual frustrations. The shame, embarrassment, and hesitancy that individuals feel with themselves, and the resentment and blame they can feel towards their sexual partners, are explored and put into context. Whether you are married, cohabitating, or dating, or if you are 25, 45, or 75, reading this book will help renew your sexual desire and put you on the path towards healthy, pleasure-oriented sexuality.
"This book is simply the best, most sane, useful extant book on the topic of sustaining desire in long term love relationships." - Sue Johnson, Developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy; Author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
"The McCarthy's have, yet again, produced an excellent resource for couples struggling with issues related to sexual desire. Barry McCarthy is a master clinician and educator. Along with his wife, Emily, they have developed a unique ability to present complex therapeutic suggestions in a way that is easily accessible to the mainstream reader. The combination of their warmth, skill, and clinical acumen combine to make this one of the few books on sexual desire that will actually provide useful, accurate, and clinically sound advice and counsel. I know I will recommend it often to my patients." - Daniel N. Watter, EdD, President-Elect, The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)
"The McCarthys have put a career's worth of wisdom, inspiration, and practical suggestions into this remarkable book. If your sexual desire and couple teamwork are in good shape, this book will help you make things even better. If you are struggling, it will help you relax (you are not alone) and show you a way forward towards more emotional and sexual intimacy." - William Doherty, Ph.D., Professor, University of Minnesota; Author of Take Back Your Marriage
"Barry Mc Carthy has that wonderful way of reaching us all with his inclusive, non-pathologizing model of diverse sexual styles. Be you 30 or 80 (and anything in between), you'll find Rekindling Desire accessible, user-friendly and oh, so wise. It is one of my go to books on sexuality, consider it yours." - Esther Perel, Author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
"Emily and Barry McCarthy do it again–in a clear and lucid style, they teach readers how to be an intimate sexual team, creating a solid basis for rekindling a couple's sexuality. A superb self-help book!" - Michael A. Perelman, Ph.D., Past-President, The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR); Clinical Professor, Weill Medical College, Cornell University; Co-Director, Human Sexuality Program, The New York Presbyterian Hospital
"Rekindling Desire, 2nd Edition should be on the bookshelf of every sex/relationship therapist's office, and on the nightstand of every person who is facing questions or concerns about his/her sexual desire. From sexual myths to playful exercises, this book also holds the promise of teaching couples to sustain the flame of desire in long-term partnerships." - Lori Brotto, Ph.D., Associate Professor, University of British Columbia, Canada
Introduction. Part 1: Awareness Chapter 1. When and Why Couples Lose Sexual Desire 2. Whose Problem Is It–His, Hers, or Ours? 3. Turnoffs–Poisons for Sexual Desire 4. The New Male Sexuality–Confronting Myths of Autonomous Sex Performance 5. Finding Her Voice–Female Sexual Equity Part 2: Change 6. Being an Intimate Sexual Team–Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style 7. Building Anticipation–Bridges to Sexual Desire 8. Attachment–Enhancing Intimacy 9. Nondemand Pleasuring–Let's Play Touchy-Feely 10. Challenging Inhibitions–Just Do It 11. Creating Erotic Scenarios–Vital Sexuality Part 3: Relapse Prevention 12. Maintaining Gains–Keeping Sexuality Healthy 13. Intimate Attachment–Enhancing Your Bond 14. The Erotic Marriage–Lusting for Life 15. Valuing Couple Sexuality
Barry McCarthy, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, and certified sex and marital therapist. He has published extensively on couples and sexuality and has done more than 350 professional workshops nationally and internationally. He is also the recipient of numerous awards, including the 2009 Smart Marriages® Impact Award.
Emily McCarthy has been working with her husband, Barry, for years, and together they have authored 11 books. She has a degree in speech communication, and her writing provides a balanced, humanistic perspective.