Your Guide to Lifelong Intimacy
Routledge – 2011 – 247 pages
Winner of the 2011 AASECT Book Award!
Co-authors of Men’s Sexual Health, Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy have come together to inspire and motivate readers in their newest book, Enduring Desire. Real-life examples and clear, helpful individual and couple exercises allow readers to reach for realistic and high quality sexual satisfaction as a couple. Throughout the book, the authors promote positive, realistic sexual expectations without commercialism and the hyped, exotic promises that only set people up for disappointment. The message is down-to-earth and full of joy for all couples from their 20s to their 80s. The authors advocate the variable, flexible "Good Enough Sex" (GES) model, which validates the inherent variability and flexibility of couple sexuality and examines the biopsychosocial, multidimensional, and comprehensive roles, functions and meanings of couple sexuality.
"No hype, no bromides—just loads of practical and inspiring strategies for having a life-long, satisfying sexual relationship. I can’t think of a better guide for couples young and old. Read it together, use it, and give it to couples starting their journey together." —William J. Doherty, PhD, Professor of Family Social Science, University of Minnesota; author, Take Back Your Marriage
"Metz and McCarthy have written the best book available on enhancing and maintaining sexual desire and intimacy in long-term relationships. Through real life examples and inviting the reader’s self examination, Metz and McCarthy introduce the value of the ‘Good Enough Sex’ model, rather than the goal-oriented, perfect intercourse model that leads so many couples to frustration. This book is a gift to everyone seeking a better and enduring level of sexual and personal intimacy." —Julian Slowinski, PsyD, ABPP, Department of Psychiatry, University of Pennsylvania, School of Medicine; Senior Clinical Psychologist, Pennsylvania Hospital; Co-author, The Sexual Male, The Good Sex Guide
"A realistic and refreshing look at creating and maintaining a satisfying sex life across the ages. Metz and McCarthy challenge the mythical sexual beliefs of incessant and unrelenting sexual desire that pervade our culture, and instead offer honest and unbiased tips for setting realistic expectations and fostering healthy sexual scripts." —Lori A. Brotto, PhD, R Psych, Assistant Professor, University of British Columbia, Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology
"Metz and McCarthy’s concept of ‘good enough sex,’ as emphasized in their newest book, Enduring Desire, offers a superb model of expectation management for professional and public audiences alike. I would recommend this book to my patients, colleagues, and students without hesitation." —Michael A. Perelman, PhD, President, Society for Sex Therapy and Research; Clinical Associate Professor, Psychiatry, Reproductive Medicine and Urology, NY Weill Cornell Medical Center
"Metz and McCarthy have together written yet another great book. Their guide is comprehensive, covering pertinent aspects of sex and couples therapy, which they view as being intertwined. Enduring Desire is not only helpful, but easy to read, "straight talk," including many clear, real-life examples. Recently given the Best Book Award 2011 by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, Enduring Desire is the most refreshing and enlightening general guide to couple sexuality and intimacy that I have read. It is an important addition to the library of any sex or couples therapist, researcher or clergy person. I most frequently and successfully use this book with my own patients. The exercises are motivating and, with an investment of time and effort, can help couples bring realistic joy to their relationship sex. I have also used this guide with engaged couples who have been referred to me by clergy as part of their church marital preparation programs. My success with the latter group has even led to my giving Enduring Desire as an engagement gift to personal friends on more than one occasion." - Carolee A. Kallmann, Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
Real Sex for Couples: The New Way of Thinking. Your Growth Goals for Quality Sex. Your Expectations and Sexual Satisfaction. The Best Sex is Relationship Sex. Creating Your Couple Sexual Style. Intimate Teamwork: The Environment for GES. Celebrating Your Sexual Being: Confident Sex. The Gender Team. Sexual Pleasure and Function. Flexibility and Variability Build Enduring Quality. Real-life Sex: Regular, Playful, and Special. "Good Enough Sex": Putting it All Together. Appendix A: Choosing an Individual, Couple, or Sex Therapist. Appendix B: Resources: Books, Videos, and Trusted Websites.
Michael E. Metz, PhD, is a psychologist and marital and sex therapist in private practice in Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN, treating individuals and couples. For 12 years Dr. Metz served on the faculty of the University of Minnesota Medical School, Department of Family Practice & Community Health, directed the marital & sex therapy program, and for 18 years served as adjunct assistant professor with the University of Minnesota’s Department of Family Social Science. He is a major spokesperson for a comprehensive, integrated biopsychosocial approach to addressing and resolving relationship and sexual problems. As a clinician he has worked with more than 6,000 couples for a variety of relationship and sexual problems
Barry W. McCarthy, PhD, is a certified marital and sex therapist and practices at the Washington Psychological Center, USA. He was recipient of the 2009 Smart Marriages Impact Award