A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages
Published January 13th 2003 by Routledge – 224 pages
Is sex more work than play in your marriage? Do you schedule it in like a dentist appointment? Do you make love once a month, twice at the most?
If you answered yes to these questions, you are among the forty million Americans trapped in a low-sex or no-sex marriage.
Now there is help from nationally acclaimed sex and marital experts Barry and Emily McCarthy, who for years have helped couples break down the barriers that have developed between them, and rebuild closeness and longing. Their groundbreaking ten-step program is designed to get sex and intimacy back into these marriages and revitalize relationships. Crafted by years of clinical practice, Rekindling Desire first shows couples how to root out the "poisons" that inhibit sexual desire: shame, guilt, anger, passivity, as well as medical side effects and physical dysfunctions. With sensitivity and tact, the McCarthys then lay out concrete techniques and effective strategies that help couples increase sexual awareness, confront inhibitions, revitalize desire, and integrate intimacy and eroticism.
An exciting new way to spark and sustain desire, Rekindling Desire confronts the secrecy and stigma of low-sex and no-sex marriages, teaching couples how to enjoy a fulfilling, life-long sexual partnership.
"This book brings hope and excitement as it gently unravels the mysteries and misunderstandings surrounding marital sex and helps couples-step-by-step-find the keys to their own secret garden. I highly recommend it." -- Diane Sollee, Director, Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education and smartmarriages.com
"Rekindling Desire will prove indispensable for couples with low desire problems and will provide a helpful adjunct for working collaboratively in sex therapy." -- Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D., School of Psychology, University of Ottawa, Canada, editor,New Directions in Sex Therapy
"A sensitive practical book that most couples will find useful, written by gifted and respected clinicians, provides a wealth of information gathered from the professional experience of treating couples.." -- Taylor Segraves, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry Case Western Reserve University, editor,Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
"…highlight[s] poignant stories of lost initimacy. Read it for a map of how to reunite with tender loving care." -- Lybi Ma, Psychology Today
"Barry and Emily McCarthy bring rich experience and insight…Rekindling Desire makes a valuable contribution and provides therapists who use bibliotherapy with a practical and informative resource." -- Journal of Marital and Family Therapy
Part I: Understanding -The First Step. Why Do Couples Experience a Dead End to Desire? Whose Problem is it - His, Hers, or Ours? Turnoffs: Poisons for Sexual Desires. The New Man: Overcoming Sexual Dysfunction. Finding Her Voice: Overcoming Female Dysfunction. Part II: Changing. The Second Step: Nurturing Anticipation - Bridges to Sexual Desire. The Third Step: Feeling Close - Enhancing Intimacy. The Fourth Step: Let's Play Feely - Touchy - Nondemand Pleasuring. The Fifth Step: Just Do it - Challenging Inhibitions. The Sixth Step: Making it Special - Creating Erotic Scenarios. Part III: Preventing Relapse. The Seventh Step: Keeping it Vital - Preventing Relapse. The Eighth Step: Enhancing the Bond - Intimacy Dates. The Ninth Step: Lusting for Life - The Erotic Marriage. The Tenth Step: Your Parents Were Wrong - Valuing Marital Sexuality. Appendix 1. Choosing a Marital or Sexual Therapist. Appendix 2. Books for Further Reading
Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., is a certified sex therapist and Professor of Psychology at American University. He has published extensively on couples and sexuality and given more than a hundred workshops around the world. Emily McCarthy holds a B.S. in Speech Communication from Southern Illinois University. Having worked for years as a speech therapist, she now collaborates with her husband on books that address issues faced by married couples. This is the seventh book he and his wife, Emily, have co-authored on the subject, including Sexual Awareness, which has sold more than 500,000.