Getting It Right the First Time
Creating a Healthy Marriage
Routledge – 2004 – 228 pages
A healthy marriage is the result of much more than a stroke of good fortune, the accidental meeting of two "soul mates," or a conscious commitment to stay together no matter what. Studies have found that romantic, passionate love is often just a memory by the wedding, or within the first year of marriage. Creating an intimate, satisfying, and stable marriage is by no means easy or guaranteed--it requires thought, communication, planning, and true commitment to each other (though luck and compatibility never hurt). The window of opportunity in which to build the foundation for such a relationship is narrow, and does not often last too long after the first two years of a marriage.
Getting it Right the First Time provides the information every couple needs to know to understand what really makes a marriage work. Husband and wife team, Barry and Emily McCarthy share clear, helpful guidelines for creating a healthy marriage and reveal the strategies, skills, and attitudes that can help prevent disappointment, resentment, and alienation from entering the relationship.
Ask any happily married couple whether the time and effort spent in creating a healthy marriage has been worth it, and you should get a universal answer. Getting it Right the First Time can make getting there a little easier.
"Barry and Emily McCarthy alert us to a little known fact: the seeds of divorce are often planted in the first two years of marriage. This wise and wonderful book is one of the finest sources of divorce prevention and marital happiness I've seen." -- Pat Love, author of The Truth About Love
"The largest portion of our ministry to marriage is preparation. Barry and Emily present an excellent, "how-to" for couples entering marriage. Getting It Right the First Time is also a survival kit for couples in the early years of marriage, a population for which our work is most critical. This book is more than a manual with professional wisdom for making a marriage work; it is also a powerful, practical witness to successful marriage in the 21st Century. I would recommend it for those preparing for marriage and especially those traversing the rocky early years." -- Andrew Lyke, Coordinator of Marriage Ministry for the Catholic Archdiocese of Chicago
"From now on, I'll recommend the client read Getting It Right the First Time. This book is like having a fireside chat with an experienced couple therapist, and I wish I had written it myself. It is intended to provide couples with important skills and understandings of marriage during the critical first years, when they are forming important habits and when they are most vulnerable.Getting It Right is realistic. The authors promise "no simple answers" (p. 1), and do not guarantee relationship success from reading any book, even theirs. I am going to give Getting it Right to anyone who wants to understand where I am coming from." -- JMFT
What to do After You Say "I Do." Strengthening Your Bond: Respect, Trust, and Intimacy. Developing a Couple Style. You Are Not Clones: Dealing with Differences. Love Does Not Mean Never Having to Say You're Sorry: Positive, Realistic Expectations. Sexuality: Creating an Intimate, Erotic Marriage. Becoming a Family. We Can Work it Out: Resolving Conflicts. Sexual Problems: Dysfunction Affairs, Infertility. The Most Common Stress: Dealing with Money. Tag Team Parenting. Organizing Your Lives: Career Conflicts and Decisions. Dealing with In-laws and Extended Family. Preventing Divorce. Valuing Your Spouse and Marriage. Appendices.
Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., is a certified sex therapist and Professor of Psychology at American University. He has published extensively on couples and sexuality and given more than a hundred workshops around the world.
Emily McCarthy, having worked for years as a speech therapist, now collaborates with her husband on books that address issues faced by married couples. This is the seventh book they have co-authored on the subject, including Sexual Awareness, which has sold more than 500,000 copies.