Coming Out, Coming In
Nurturing the Well-Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth in Mainstream Society
Foreword by Jody M. Huckaby
Routledge – 2008 – 48 pages
Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing the Well-Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth in Mainstream Society describes the process of “coming in” to a welcoming and nurturing family, from both the teen's and the parents' perspective. Linda Goldman draws on her personal and professional experience as a school guidance counselor, child and adolescent therapist, parent, and a member of the national group PFLAG to build a common language and a new paradigm for understanding sexual orientation and gender identity as a part of mainstream culture. Through the information, exercises, anecdotes, and extensive bibliography of additional resources provided in the book, parents, school administrators and educators, community groups and counselors will find the tools needed to facilitate nurturing and safe environments for our LGBT youth.
"Few people are as gifted as Linda Goldman. [She] stands for healthy spirituality, which is woven throughout the book, especially sensitive because [she] is also a mother, a mother of several children, including a gay child. She knows the pain, confusion, struggle, love, joy, playfulness, and hope.
[This] book is packed. It is not particularly about agreeing or disagreeing, though it will hopefully turn a few heads and hearts, but get you to shift from understanding/judgment to ownership of our responsibility to ALL children, ALL issues, and ALL life circumstances.
From the introduction to the enormous resource section, this book will bless professionals, parents, other adults and, teens. The photography, all done by a high school student, is overwhelming. You cannot get beyond the cover photo of a young woman and not come to realize the presence of human sexuality at all ages, at what should be a beautiful AND NORMAL experience for all children.
There is so much more available to you in this book. It is must reading wherever you find yourself on this subject. Linda Goldman blends brilliance with empathy, bringing together complex facts and issues into a user-friendly resource that deserves our attention and action."- Richard Gilbert, Ph.D., The World Pastoral Care Center/Bridge Builders, Mercy College
"We all should be greatful for this book, even if it is not an issue in your life and journey, as we have an opportunity to hear the wise counsel, data, stories, and passion that Linda brings to a sensitive subject so imemrsed in ignorance, bias, fear, and judgment…..It is a must read wherever you find yourself on this subject….Linda Goldman blends brilliance with empathy, bringing together complex facts and issues into a user-friendly resources that deserve our attention and action." - Reverend Richard B. Gilbert, Ph.D., CT, The World Pastoral Care Center/Bridge Builders, Mercy College in Healing Ministry, Volume 15, Number 1, Winter 2008
"This book is definitely groundbreaking and should be used as a reference by schools, families, counselors and anyone who works with youth to help LGBT kids come out and other kids and adults to be more understanding, sensitive and understanding of differences in sexual orientation." - healingmagazine.org, spring/summer 2008
"This book is a useful tool and an interesting read for anyone. Addressing issues faced by LGBT people and their families, it suggests simple yet effective ways of tackling inequalities. It deals with tough issues sensitively and includes case studies offereing an objective insight into the effects of homophobia, thus provoking an interesting dialougue with the reader." -Tim Eastwood in Children & Young People Now
"Though it seems that we have made progress in understanding homosexuality and attempting to create space so that sexual minority youth may feel more accepted, Goldman's book makes it clear that there is much more to be done. She seeks to dispel a number of myths and inaccurate information about LGBT lifestyles, and replaces them with both statistics and life stories to help the reader understand the true experience of these youth. In addition, she provides concrete strategies for creating safe and accepting environments in which LGBT youth may not only survive coming out, but also may thrive in their unique identity. Coming Out, Coming In provides an excellent introduction and overview of the challenges faced by today's LGBT youth for those who are unfamiliar with the terrain…Goldman's message is clear. We must all work together to establish structures that enhance understanding, particularly through creating safe places for all LGBT youth to come in to an accepting environment when they are ready to come out." - Doris LaPlante and Nicole O'Brien in Contemporary Family Therapy
"Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing the Well-Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth in Mainstream Society provides the necessary knowledge and strategies for making the lives of queer youth happier and more fulfilled, along with guidelines that we, queer and straight members of society, can and must do to protect and nurture these most vulnerable young men and women. In clear language, [Goldman] tackles the myths of homosexuality, the obstacles and support for queer youth, parenting, relationships and all the many and varied issues that confront queer boys and girls, giving us a firsthand account of the joys and sorrows met with on the road to self-acceptance…Goldman never preaches, instead letting us hear the actual voices of the young men and women who deal not only with sexuality but also with race, body image, religion, gender stereotypes, economic and ethnic background…the themes are universal and there is information here for teens, parents, educators, family, friends, and therapists. Coming Out, Coming In is essential reading for everyone who cares about queer youth and about our future as a society." - Wayves Online
Huckaby,Foreword. Understanding Gay Youth: Society’s Mirror. The World of Gay Youth: From Exclusion to Inclusion. Dispelling Old Myths: Creating New Insights. Coming Out: Finding Freedom to Be. Interventions with LGBT Young People: Supporting a Healthy Outlook. Counseling Youth on LGBT Issues: Towards Self-acceptance. Speak Up and Share: Self-expression and the Creative Arts. The School Environment: Creating an Oasis of Safety. Possibilities for LGBT Participation in Daily Life: Evolving Relationships and Communities. Parenting LGBT Children: A Foundation for Love and Support. Coming In: Gay and Lesbian Family Life. Community Counts: A Place for Friends and Family. Conclusion: A Final Look at a New Beginning. Creating Equality in Society: Resources and Supports. Resources on LGBT Issues for Youth and Adults: Celebrating Diversity. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Organizations: Support for All.