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Lesbian Ex-Lovers

The Really Long-Term Relationships

By Esther D Rothblum, Jacqueline Weinstock

Routledge – 2004 – 276 pages

Purchasing Options:

  • Add to CartPaperback: $62.95
    978-1-56023-283-4
    November 11th 2004
  • Add to CartHardback: $135.00
    978-1-56023-282-7
    November 11th 2004

Description

“We have earned a certain place in each other’s lives, and in the best of times we can rest on what we have made together.”

Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships examines the need for the development of better understanding and more critical analysis of lesbian ex-lover relationships. This eye-opening look into the minds and hearts of women offers personal insight into the possibilities for and potential pitfalls of lesbian ex-lover relations. This book contains personal stories, fictional accounts, poetry, and theoretical analyses of the frequency and significance of ex-lovers at different stages in a relationship.

Topics of interest in Lesbian Ex-Lovers include:

  • the roles ex-lovers play in our lives
  • ex-lovers as contexts for change and development
  • how we continue to be influenced by ex-lovers
  • letting go and moving on
  • ex-lovers as current friends and family
  • themes of betrayal and loss of faith
  • reconstructing friendships and community
  • the mystique of the ex-lover
  • friend/family connections among lesbian ex-lovers
“Rather than totally scrap a relationship, we recycle it—from lover to ex-lover to friend in a relatively short half-life.”

Lesbian Ex-Lovers is the only book in print that explores how a lesbian’s ex-lovers impact her subsequent romances and lifestyle. This special collection adds a new dynamic to the current literature for and about the lesbian community.

Lesbian Ex-Lovers offers advice, anecdotes, and interpretations from such authors, poetesses, and artists as:

  • Michelle Gibson, PhD—educator and editor of Femme/Butch: New Considerations of the Way We Want to Go— who says goodbye to her lover in a sad, passionate elegy
  • Marny Hall—Psychotherapist, editor of the anthology Sexualities, and author of several books, including The Lavender Couch: A Consumer’s Guide to Psychotherapy for Lesbians and Gay Men—who muses on the unique bonding between lesbians and their ex-lovers, lending a mystique that surrounds the lesbian lifestyle
  • Alison Bechdel—creator of the comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For—who presents a humorous comic strip thanking her former lovers for teaching her about herself
  • Jane Futcher—newspaper reporter and author of three novels—who uses a chapter in her novel to illustrate the tensions that can occur when ex-lovers choose to remain friends, especially when those bonds provoke jealousy in both current and ex-lovers
  • Renny Christopher—educator and award-winning poetess—who expresses her love, loss, and regret in three poems about her ex-lover
  • and much more!

Contents

  • INTRODUCTION
  • Lesbian Ex-Lover Relationships: Under-Estimated, Under-Theorized and Under-Valued? (Jacqueline S. Weinstock)
  • “THE CHANGER AND THE CHANGED”: EX-LOVERS AS CONTEXTS FOR DEVELOPMENT
  • To All the Girls I Left Before (Alison Bechdel)
  • Tenth Anniversary (Jill Stranger)
  • Coming Out of My Closet (Barbara Brown)
  • In My Dream: My Ex-Lovers’ Unconventional Convention (Pat Pomerleau Chávez)
  • These Most Difficult Tasks (Karen Heise)
  • Passion (Marilyn Lee)
  • MOVING COSTS: CHALLENGES OF (RE)DEFINING OUR RELATIONSHIPS AND DEALING WITH UNFINISHED BUSINESS
  • Still the One (Susan McCully)
  • Loading Up the U-Haul: Traveling the Spaces Between Friends and Lovers (Tammie M. Kennedy)
  • Daring to Take the Risk (Myra Betschild and Adrienne Fortanier)
  • Family Affairs (L. J. “Tess” Tessier)
  • Highly Favored Ex (Gina Perille)
  • For Emily, Many Years Too Late/Years Later, in Another City, I Still Think of Her (Renny Christopher)
  • TOO MUCH TSORAS? THE HIGH COSTS OF MAINTAINING TIES
  • Truth, Dreams and the Li(v)es Between (Marilyn Lee)
  • Temporary Temptation (Cecilia Stanton)
  • Lost Love (Renny Christopher)
  • Neurotic Love Letters (tatiana de la tierra)
  • Goodbye to My Lover (Michelle Gibson)
  • Leaving Liza (Jane Futcher)
  • Lesbian Ex-Lovers by the Numbers: A Reflective but Not Contemplative Love Poem of Sorts (Dr. Dyke)
  • NOT LOVERS BUT NOT “JUST FRIENDS”: RECONSTRUCTING FAMILIES, FRIENDSHIPS, AND COMMUNITIES
  • PERSONAL STORIES
  • I’m Not Lisa (Kate Brown)
  • The House on Transcript Avenue (Bernadette Barton)
  • The Politics of Potlucks (Barbara Esrig)
  • Family Doggerel (Becky Thacker)
  • The Visit (Marilyn Lee)
  • Irritating and Constricting/Elating and Elastic—Being “Ex” as a Lesbian (Fe Day)
  • THEORETICAL REFLECTIONS
  • Consummated Friends and Ex-Wives: Two Types of Lesbian Ex-Lovers (Tabitha Eden)
  • When Three’s a Crowd: Ex-Lovers and Lesbian Families in 2 Girls in Love (Kelly McWilliam)
  • Making the Transition: Understanding the Longevity of Lesbian Relationships (Susan B. Fitzgerald)
  • Lesbian FLEX-ibility: Friend and/or Family Connections Among Lesbian Ex-Lovers (Jacqueline S. Weinstock)
  • AFTERWORD
  • The Migration of the Mythic Lesbian (Marny Hall)
  • Index

Related Subjects

  1. Area Studies

Name: Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships (Paperback)Routledge 
Description: By Esther D Rothblum, Jacqueline Weinstock. “We have earned a certain place in each other’s lives, and in the best of times we can rest on what we have made together.” Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships examines the need for the development of...
Categories: Area Studies