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Longtime Companions

Autobiographies of Gay Male Fidelity

By John Dececco, Phd, Alfred Lees, Ronald Nelson

Routledge – 1999 – 246 pages

Purchasing Options:

  • Add to CartPaperback: $44.95
    978-1-56023-957-4
    May 5th 1999
  • Add to CartHardback: $130.00
    978-0-7890-0641-7
    May 27th 1999

Description

Longtime Companions: Autobiographies of Gay Male Fidelity provides a sophisticated alternative to “anything goes” gay literature. Challenging the stereotype that gay men are incapable of lasting and successful relationships, 15 long-term gay couples share slices of their own lives to give you insight into their present relationships, while some discuss life after their mates have passed on. You will find that their stories offer an inspirational and richly fulfilling alternative to an empty life of promiscuity that lacks true love.

Through a treasury of autobiographical essays, Longtime Companions documents how committed gay male unions can be as enduring, nurturing, and diverse as heterosexual marriages and proves that loving commitments and life-sharing are not exclusive to heterosexual unions. A celebration of gay diversity, this book offers you insights from contributors of different ages, professions, geographic locations, and attitudes. You will learn the intimate details of the couples’lives, including:

  • how they met their partners
  • how soon they committed to each other
  • how long the couples have been together--from 14 years to over 50 years
  • their keys to leading successful, happy lives
  • the ways in which their relationships fulfill their personal needs and contribute to community life

    You will come to realize the true strength of these men’s relationships as you share in their struggles within a society that offers them little recognition or support for their successful relationships. Co-editor Alfred Lees explains in the introduction to Longtime Companions, “We’ve all worked diligently to make our partnerships sound, nurturing, and enduring. We’ve done this without any social motivation, largely without role models, in the face of ‘official’disapproval or contempt. We’ve told our stories here to refute--by the simple facts of our experience--the grotesque misrepresentation of gays as being incapable of stable, committed relationships.” Will add more. . . Through a treasury of autobiographical essays, Longtime Companions documents how committed gay-male unions can be as enduring, nurturing, and diverse as heterosexual marriages and proves that loving commitment and life-sharing are not exclusive to heterosexual unions. A celebration of gay diversity, contributors vary in age, profession, geographic location, and attitudes. You will learn the intimate details of the couples’lives, including:
  • how they met their partners
  • how soon they committed to each other
  • how they managed to collaborate on successful, fulfilling lives
  • how some have maintained their commitment as part of an open relationship

    You will come to realize the true strength of these men’s relationships as you share in their struggles within a society that offers them little recognition or support for their successful relationships. Co-Author Alfred Lees explains in the Introduction to Longtime Companions, “We’ve all worked diligently to make our partnerships sound, nurturing, and enduring. We’ve done this without any social innovation, largely without role models, in the face of ‘official” disapproval or contempt. We’ve told our stories here to refute--by the simple facts of our experience--the grotesque misrepresentation of gays as being incapable of stable, committed relationships.”

Contents

Contents We’re Not Lost, We’re Here

  • Foreword
  •  Acknowledgments
  • Introduction
  •  Casting for Couples: The Ones That Got Away
  • Enter: Key West!
  • Come to the Cabaret
  • Then, a Sour Note (with Chorus)
  •  The Monogamy Issue
  •  Just One More Thing
  •  Marry Us
  •  The Joint Accounts
  •  The Ballad of Eddie and Scott
  •   Park Bench to Forever
  • Surviving the Cure (Roy)
  •  Corroborative Testimony
  • Loss of Sharing: The Bereavement Continues
  •  The Poems
  •  Your Presence in Absentia
  •  Arriving at Some End
  •  Final Acts
  •  And So to Endure
  • Married--with Children
  • Okinawa Honeymoon
  • Across Boundaries
  •  Growing Up Apart
  •  Getting Together
  • A Walk on the Wild Side
  •  The Career-Path Years
  • The Moves
  • The Queen City
  • Lives Long Entwined: Comments (at Forty-Seven Years) on a Committed Relationship
  •  Life Doesn’t Begin at Forty (but It Starts Getting Better)
  • The Stanford Start
  • Careers and Finances
  •  Cultural Pursuits in Tandem
  •  How Many Corners on a Globe?
  • Friends and Social Life
  •  Problems? Well, Al’s Had Only One (but It”s Been a Pip!)
  •  The Retirement Project
  •  Coda
  • Update
  •  Fraternity Brothers
  • A Long Road for Soul Mates
  • The Rise from Rascals
  •  Life in the Hollywood Hills
  •  Life As a Charleston Hustler
  • Life Ever Since
  • A Bond Strengthened by Grief
  • Opposites Attract: Enduring Clashes in Personality, Generation, and Culture
  •  Together at the Bars
  •  Dance to the Music
  • Prelude
  • The Hesitation Waltz
  • Grand Pas de Deux
  • Fleshdance
  • Anniversary Waltz
  • The Tea Dance from Hell
  •  The Court Ball
  • The Stagestruck Strut
  • The Tropical Two-Step
  • The Phoenix Fandango
  • The Dance of Death
  •  Coda
  •  The Testosterone Tarantella
  • Going for the Gold
  •  Fifty Years Later--The Dinner Party Speech        

Name: Longtime Companions: Autobiographies of Gay Male Fidelity (Paperback)Routledge 
Description: By John Dececco, Phd, Alfred Lees, Ronald Nelson. Longtime Companions: Autobiographies of Gay Male Fidelity provides a sophisticated alternative to “anything goes” gay literature. Challenging the stereotype that gay men are incapable of lasting and successful relationships, 15...
Categories: Gerontology/Ageing, Gay & Lesbian Studies, End of Life and Long Term Care